names
hoping this new newsletter/blog title sticks! plus the introduction of "butt-sized nuggets"
Happy Saturday, gorgeous friends! I feel like I keep putting new things into my morning routines and I’m really enjoying them, although it’s definitely easier when my plans are further out in the afternoon. Todd Baratz had a free offer yesterday to join his monthly group therapy membership, so I took advantage and worked through the exercises in his Fuck the Fairytale online course after I worked on another workbook from a super insightful in-person workshop I took last night from local dating coach Stacy Perry. Now I’m working on this newsy before I stretch out and head to my first EVER Barry’s Bootcamp class. Send all the good vibes for me plz!
You may or may not have noticed that I have a bunch of new headshots thanks to The Click. It was a great experience and the photos are SO good for the price, but it’s definitely awkward not having anyone there to help you pose. Felt like I could have done better, so I was happy with just choosing ten photos instead of purchasing the whole set. But I’ll definitely be back at some point and will be more prepared!
And as I hope you’ve definitely noticed, aw hell naw, karen! is now the sf bae diaries. The URL will remain the same because I don’t think I can change that, but I read this post and realized I needed to change the title! There’s enough Karen-ing in the world today and I don’t have the name recognition yet!
I wanted something fun, unique, and authentic to the content I’ll be writing here, so I decided on the sf bae diaries which was one of my recent X usernames and was based on a blog I had started at the beginning of COVID and never really followed through with. I do have two entries on there and whoa, it’s really trippy to see what my last week before the COVID shutdown was like (Happy Hours, birthday parties at the second iteration of Tonic before it became Propagation, meeting Gabby Giffords!!!).
I don’t know if people still use the word “bae,” but the entire title still resonates with me as a lot of my content really does feel like sharing diary entries. And it just really encapsulates a lot of things! I live in the San Francisco Bay Area, I’m going to write a lot about San Francisco, and I’m just a bae looking for her bae!
I think the sf bae diaries just needed five years to marinade. So here she is, again. For good. Hopefully!
i finished listening to my first audiobook
TW: sexual assault
Remember how I said in my last newsletter that I’ve been really getting into audiobooks? Honestly, just one. I lent out Know My Name by Chanel Miller from the San Francisco Public Library through the Libby app. I actually purchased the hardcover from a Friends of SFPL sidewalk sale a couple of months ago. I did also borrow the book from the library maybe a couple of years ago but never finished it, so I had to return it. I was going to restart reading the book earlier this month but felt that the chapters were a little dense, so I decided to try out the audiobook instead.
I think it made it all so much more real and powerful to hear her entire story in her voice. I know I remember how I felt when Emily Doe’s Victim Impact Statement surfaced in the world. I was shaken and moved, inspired by her bravery, and angry and upset at her attacker and the system that failed to protect her and other survivors. It was even more important for her words to be amplified in June 2016 in a time where an admitted sexual predator was able to take the highest office in the land — a reality we are unfortunately living through once again. Chanel even touches on the messaging of the first Trump presidency and the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation hearing a couple of years later. It was definitely jarring to relive those events again, knowing what is happening now.
As someone who is currently working in the legal system, Chanel’s story really opened my eyes about why there is such skepticism and distrust, though it goes beyond just the courtroom and through every step in the process and through multiple institutions. I learned a lot about what victims have to go through.
But the memoir is so much more than the statement and the politics. It is raw, unflinching, and triumphant. Chanel is so open about her life before, during, and after what happened to her and she doesn’t let it define her. I was also so touched by the ways she expressed gratitude to so many people, especially to the two bicyclists who saved her the night of the assault. I hope she had a chance to meet them, or will someday.
I survived because I remained soft, because I listened, because I wrote. Because I huddled close to my truth, protected it like a tiny flame in a terrible storm.
— Chanel Miller
So grateful I finally was able to immerse myself in this book. Thank you, Chanel.
On a lighter-ish note, I present to you a new section you may see in these newsletters!
In my first newsletter, I included an audio voiceover and “bite-sized nuggets” came out as “butt-sized nuggets” but I thought it was funny, so I just owned it. Now, I will use that as an ending (haha!) section for random things I want to mention before we end our time together.
If you want a way to stay informed with the world that resonates more with you and not the toxicity of social media and the dominant right-wing outlets, I highly recommend subscribing to THE RISING. Though it’s more localized for us SF Bae folks, there is definitely lots of content for anyone that wants to stay in tune with what’s going on with this administration, upcoming elections, and national issues and ways to get involved. It also shares good news and ways to find joy and take care of yourself. And I should have mentioned this first, but my friend helps put it together so you’ll be supporting her good work!
Robert Saleh is the defensive coordinator for the San Francisco 49ers again and my despair about this team has turned into hope again.
I have a newsletter scheduled for Monday and I am excited to share it with you all! Hoping Mondays can be a good cadence for content with other posts like this when possible.
with evolving clarity about my brand and good energy for the weekend (go not Kansas City Chiefs!),
karen